Princess Biker Chick

Princess Biker Chick
They say there is one of them in every walk of life, in every genre and every sub-genre around the world. You know the type- the little, sashaying, everyone-look-at-me princess girls. They run around with little dogs in their giant purses and expect the world to fall over to please them. They tend toward the rude side and they think that everyone wants to be them. They have never, ever had to want for anything because things just fall out of the sky for them. I thought I would never see it with my own eyes, but there she was, the Princess Biker Chick, although, I think it is a crime to call her that.

She had a nice bike, I will grant you that, but I will bet you dollars to lug nuts that she does not know how to do the first thing to care for that bike. Someone probably does that for her. I will further bet you that she does not even gas up for herself- she probably bats her eyes at whatever unsuspecting schlub is at the gas station and gets that done for her as well. I would bet that her perfectly manicured fingers have never been grimy a single day. I doubt that she has ever taken that bike faster than a nice safe, look-at-me cruising speed. Oh, you know what the wind would do to her hair!

She gets off the bike like a queen descending from her throne and strolls into the little shop. She comes for gear, but not for her bike. She probably hires people to do that. She comes to the bike shop for gear for herself, and for the love of all that is good and Harley, her little dog. She rarely leaves without spending a couple hundred bucks, so everyone there is always pretty pleased to see her come, but she is not quite a peach to be around so they are equally glad to see her go. She brought the dog in once but it bolted out of her big black leather purse, peed on the floor and tried to bite everyone who came near him, including her. The dog does not come along anymore. She whines that there is no pink in the store. She whines that the road chipped her nail; she whines about everything under the sun and more.

There is nothing wrong with being a girly girl and still riding a bike. There is no determining who rides bikes and who does not. In fact, I know a nun in the Detroit area who rides a bike every now and again; it's cheaper than driving a car, after all. But, the princess biker chick attitude, no matter what else it comes with, has got to go. Not only for the princess biker chick but the princess lawyer, doctor, cop and housewife. I hope their dogs poop in all of their purses; that would teach them.