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My husband doesn't want me to ride a motorcycle

by O
(MI)

I'm looking for advise, suggestion or simply support.
Since I was a child, I was dreaming to ride my own motorcycle, life went buy and now I'm married and I have 3 wonderful children (11, 6 & 6).
I finally took MSF course and bought my own bike, still practicing but love every minute of it. My husband doesn't ride and have no interest in it. And doesn't like idea of me riding a motorcycle. He can't say no and that's it. But talking about death and how selfish I'm (not thinking about kids and him). I know he loves me very much and he just scared to lose me. All this hurt my fillings and Im loosing my confidence.
Is anybody in the same situation or been there?
Thanks

Comments for My husband doesn't want me to ride a motorcycle

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Aug 15, 2013

When it's time
by: Atl

I can understand his view and maybe some of ideas but how many people are injured or die in auto accidents? You can die just getting out of bed. I've always had support but if I'm going to ride I always let the SO know that I'm riding and if I know where then I'll tell him that too. He is a rider so he does understand how riding gets in your heart and in your being...part of you. Some of the others have suggested being ATGATT and maybe taking some additional classes which I agree with. I've always been one to feel that if it's my time to go meet my maker then it's my time and it doesn't matter what I'm doing when he makes that decision.
If you continue with your dream, try to find a group to ride with or maybe find a mentor. You can learn more when you're with another rider that has respect for riding. You could ask where you buy/bought your bike if they have a group or if they know of one. If they have a bulletin board leave a brief note with your name/number on it. Check online for meetup groups. See if there is a forum for your particular bike. If you're out and see someone on a bike ask them about area groups/info/etc. It takes time to find just the right group/person. Also it takes seat time to get confidence and experience. Ride every chance you get...every mile helps you get to the point where you ride and don't have to think about "ok, I need to roll off the throttle, I need to cover the clutch, I need to use both brakes to slow down, etc." You will always need to stay alert and watchful of everybody else who's out there on the road with you. And lastly..never let peer pressure get you into something you can't get out of due to your skills/knowledge and always listen to that gut feeling if you have one about doing something..if your head isn't in for the ride leave the ride for another day. Good Luck.

Aug 13, 2013

Husband doesn't want me to ride
by: Anonymous

My husband has riden for many years and he also wasn't happy when I finally decided (had endoresment for many years)to get my own and ride. He has been trying to be more supportive and does go with me, but as some of the emails state I think he is just worried you will get hurt (that's what my husband always says, (motorcycles are dangerous)). Just learn, learn, learn, and practice, practice, practice. I haven't been riding long and that's all I think about is leaning the correct way to do things. Wear a helmet and all protective gear and don't get to crazy.

Aug 13, 2013

Wait?
by: Lynn

I also love motorcycles but I do see his point. When people ask me "isn't riding a m.c. dangerous?", I always say that I'm not scared of my ability to ride, I'm only scared of the cars and their distractions. Also, my daughter is grown & doesn't rely on me.

Only you can decide this one, but I hope all the comments are helpful.

Aug 12, 2013

Dont give I to him
by: Anonymous

Please follow your heart with respect to riding. My hubby had never ridden. i had as a teen. After I bought my bike, he got tired of riding as a passenger. Now we both ride.

Aug 12, 2013

I understand
by: Anonymous

Im sorry you are going through that. My husband taught me how to ride and i bought my own bike and when i let him know that im going riding he gets upset as well. I feel like why did i even buy a bike if he doesnt want me riding. But the thing is i think its just they are afraid that they will lose us and they wont beable to bear it. I put myself in his position and i can understand were he is coming from. Becuase if i lost him i would be devastated. Just try to have fun and keep your head up. take him on a ride and see if that might change his mind ;) or talk to him to get him to have a better understanding of how you love it

Aug 12, 2013

Do your own thing
by: Anonymous

I finally bought my own bike last summer because I got tired of waiting for my husband to decide he was ready to ride. He has since decided he's not doing to take it up, even though we had talked about it for years. I'm not letting him hold me back, riding will be my thing that I enjoy, even if he won't participate with me. If you really enjoy it and want to, don't let him stop you from having that joy; you'll only resent him if you let him ruin it for you.

Aug 12, 2013

Enjoy
by: Vickie Collins

I got my endorsement in April and luckily for me, my husband is supportive and we ride together.

You are more than a wife and a mother and it's not selfish to do something for yourself. Buy and wear all the protective gear and if that doesn't ease his concerns consider taking the additional riding courses that are available.

If you don't you'll always regret it and blame him. Who knows you might not enjoy it as much as you think when you get started.

I have to say I don't think so. I love it!

Stay safe.

Aug 12, 2013

Just tell everyone YOU ARE HAPPY
by: Shelly

I waited until my son graduated high school before I learned to ride. My husband always knew I wanted to have that experience, but I just couldn't ride while my son was young. My husband did not want me to ride either but over the last 4 years he has mellowed about it. Others will say, WOW you ride a motorcycle!, when we look over your casket and you can't speak back, just know we are saying, "I told ya so!". It bothers me because they never say it to men. I respond with, "well I will have a smile on my face because I left this world HAPPY!"

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